i want out

[ami1125]

im in dep now. im getting sick and throwing up everyday. im not emotionaly mentally or physically ready. what happns if i cant go?? what do i do?!!?

[KYmom]

Talk to your recruiter...
You don't take your final oath till you get ready to ship out.
You need to decide if it's just a temporary thing and you want to postpone or you want out all together..

Depending upon which way you get out of going now, will depend upon if you can go later.. just be careful... Pistol or somebody should be along soon to advise you on that subject.

[Retired Navy Chief]

im in dep now. im getting sick and throwing up everyday. im not emotionaly mentally or physically ready. what happns if i cant go?? what do i do?!!?


First off .... calm down and let yourself relax. You aren't leaving to bootcamp tomorrow or anything, right ??

What are your concerns ??? We'll look at each one and see what's going on.

Just remember ... you aren't the first person to get a bad case of nerves and definately won't be the last. We are all behind you and will help answer as many questions as we can to help you along.

Don't be ashamed to talk to your recruiter about how you are feeling. They are one of the first people who need to know. You have joined a very large family ... unlike one that you have ever known. Sailors help sailors ... we just gotta know what is wrong first !!

Hang in there ...

PISTOL

[ami1125]

I can't do it physically. I don't have the want or motivation to do anything.
I CANNOT do it emotionally. I can't leave my family. My whole town is my family. I've lived in the same house since I was born. Never moved. Never left. I'm afriad. I cry SOO easily. How am I going to be able to have all these people shouting at me.
I can't do it mentally. I won't be able to remember everything. Or anything. If i'm nervous..which in any uncomfortable situation I am...I can't focus enough to learn.

I WANT to WANT to join the navy. I don't just want to. Don't get me wrong I was so excited when I first got in. But i cannot kepp a meal down. I just got like my dream job. I just don't know what I should do.

[Retired Navy Chief]

I completely understand .... it isn't easy to leave everything you have ever known to go on to something completely foreign to you. BUT ... it is something that deep down, you KNOW is something that you want and everyone else will agree ... you NEED.

Everyone who has ever joined the military has felt very similar. We all came from somewhere and we all had lots of friends and family being left behind. I think you really should take some time to speak to some local veterans about how they dealt with their separation anxiety (we are EVERYWHERE !). It might help put your mind at ease ... might not.

When you say you "can't leave your family" ... what do you mean ? Is this a personal thing that you feel or are you providing for their welfare and leaving would put them in a bad way ? At 19, I would assume that it is more self-centric.

You should speak to the adults in your entire family ... and ask them what they feel about this. I am almost certain that the majority will tell you that you shouldn't worry about them ... but rather to take care of YOUR future.

As I said before ... you should go to your recruiter again to discuss this with them. It just may be that you didn't give it enough thought and bit off more than you can chew right now .... (you can handle MUCH more than you THINK you can ... believe me, it's the honest to God truth).

Remember when you were talking to the recruiter and they asked you to weigh the pro's and cons of the decision to join the Navy ?? You need to do that again with them, obviously some things have changed for you ... but try not to let emotion get in the way of making the right decision. Be honest with yourself and the recruiter ... you won't make a mistake that way.

In the meantime ... take yourself outside and go for a nice long, relaxing walk to think about this. Look around you and ask yourself ... "is this who I am, where I want to be and what I want to be doing 5 years from now ?"

Chances are, if you do not take this important step forward in your life ... what you see as your life NOW will be remarkably similar to what you will see in 5 years from now. Meanwhile, everyone else will be leaving you behind.

Hang in there ... I have faith in you !!

Cheers,
Robert

[KYmom]

Couple questions?

Are you from a extremly small town?
If yes what are your chances for your future in this small town job wise?
What do you see yourself doing 5 yrs, 10yrs from now?

My brother n law has a masters in business (he is not or never has been military) but due to his job position with his company he has had to pack up and move. In the 20 year's he has been my brother n law
he has lived in Atlanta Ga, Memphis Tn, Evansville Indiana plus back to Ky inbetween every one of these. He moves about ever 2 tyears plus travels extensively.... My point on this is everyone at some point has to leave the nest in order to fly.. and the higher you want to fly the more veristal you need to be.
It doesn't mean we love our family's any less, but there are things we need to do in order for ourselves to become whole within ourselves.(if that makes sense)


Did you ever go away for summer camp or anything like that as a kid?
If so how did you deal with your being away?

[Tyler's Dad]

If you aren't ready, stay at home until you are. Thanks for thinking about joining.

[ami1125]

Ihave always lived here. i never went to summercamps. nothing. yes i live in an exrmely small town. so yes listening to this stuff i a making sure im 100% sure i dont want to do this. but if i decide to "quit" what happens to me?? wil it be a big deal or just signing more papers? or what??

[sweetmtn]

Let me say that BEING from a small town, AND living in a small town..yes everyone knows everyone. But small towns are DEAD ENDS for our youth! No industry, no real future with a great salary potential. Believe me, the only good paying jobs in my entire county is being a PRISON GUARD! I wanted better than that for my sons, so they left at age 18, and have never looked back. One is in Iowa the other is a nuke in the Navy. Our town as a grand 3000 population. One high school for the entire county! You say you got your 'dream job', may I ask what it will pay you? What is the advancement potential? What if you ever want to buy a house of your own...you CANT be tied to your parents for ever, you need to get away and grow independence!

[ami1125]

my dream job is taking care of children. i AM away rom my parents. i live with a friend but still in my town.

[KYmom]

It is a big deal to get in and then want out... If you have doubts then don't go now. You have to decide what you want your future to be. Just don't do or not do something while you are young and able to do it and have regrets later on.
Small town life is where you grow up - leave - see the world - return to when your ready to settle down and raise your family. Small town life is great for raising your family - not your career.

[Retired Navy Chief]

I came from a very small town myself ... graduating class of 25 students :rolleyes:. I had friends who stayed there and became fixtures of the town ... I stop by to say hi whenever I am in town and they are not a whole lot better off than they were when we graduated. Not to say that they are bad people for doing it ... but after traveling around the world a couple times, it just seems like a waste of a life to me.

As for geting out of your contract ... yes it can be done but it does carry some lasting effects. If, in the future you should decide that the military is a fit for you ... then this will be waiting on you.

The Navy isn't a fit for everyone and granted, I wouldn't want to serve with someone who wasn't a volunteer .... but you know that there was something about it that catched your interest and led you to the decision that you made to join. For you to let your emotions get in the way of reaching your goal is in my opinion ... taking a step backwards.

I would tell all 4 of my kids the exact same thing ... especially my daughter.


Cheers,
PISTOL

[Seth]

My advice to you is to not join, I took almost 3 months to decide I wanted to join, but since I decided its what I wanted/needed to do, I honestly think it will be the best decision of my life.

I enjoy a challange, I want to be the best.

But if you want to take care of kids (whether it be a teacher or whatever) I would try to go to school outside of the armed forces. Good luck in either choice you make, I am from Tampa, so if you need advice or something you can IM me on AIM or private message.