Well.. He's gone.

[pandemoniac]

And boy was it a rough ride.

So originally he was supposed to ship out May 15th. On April 29th we found out that paperwork got mixed up and he was actually to ship out May 5th. I was completely bummed, because I had taken off the week he was to ship to spend with him, and now it was a moot point because I couldn't switch my time off.

So, I dropped him off at the hotel on May 4th, bawling my eyes out and a complete wreck, told him bye and came home and cried some more. I was going to go to MEPS the next morning to watch him swear in again, so I set my alarm for 8am and went to bed. Well, I got a call from him at 6:45am saying 'come get me, I can't ship'. Come to find out his recruiting station in Texas didn't send over the necessary paperwork to MEPS and they couldn't do anything. So, they said 'Come back on Wednesday and you'll ship out on Thursday'.

I was glad to have him home but I knew I'd just have to go through it all over again. So, we went to the recruiters office in Tampa to find out about the paperwork.. Texas was saying they shipped it, MEPS was saying they didn't have it. I got upset in the recruiters office because I felt like SOMEONE was dropping the ball. I didn't care who it was at the time, but I got upset and had to just leave.

So I went to work on Wednesday because I couldn't get it off to take him to the hotel and I was upset. One of the recruiters was supposed to pick him up by 5pm but didn't even get to my house til 8pm to pick him up, and he didn't get to the hotel til 10pm. Because the recruiter forgot a bunch of stuff somewhere and had to backtrack.

On Thursday morning I got a call at 7:15am saying 'They're not letting me ship I'm .2lbs over'. And this part just makes me mad. They taped him, and he was fine, they weighed him and he as .2lbs over so they taped him again and told him he was 2 inches over. I don't know how he gained 2 inches in 20 minutes, or if MEPS is just a bunch of idiots. So I went down to MEPS again and sat with him for 6 hours to see if they were going to let him ship or discharge him. Finally his Chief in Texas called and said 'We're shipping you on Monday but you better be at 193lbs, eat lettuce for the next 3 days if you have to".. So we came home.

I'm beginning to like emotional rollercoasters.

Well, I had him home for the weekend atleast. It sucked though. It was Mothers Day weekend and we had dinners scheduled everywhere. Friday night was my grandmothers house for dinner, Saturday afternoon was a cookout for my other grandmother, and Sunday was dinner for my mom. We didn't eat a thing. If he wasn't eating the good for, neither was I. It was hard and I felt bad for him. Not to mention he was already sick to his stomach from nerves.


So on Sunday I made my way back to the hotel and dropped him off, halfway hoping this was it because I couldn't take much more, but also hoping he hasn't made weight so he could just come home and we'd be done with this. Anyways, so I came back home and waited.

The next morning he called me and goes 'Uh, well, apparently I shrunk, I'm supposed to be at 191 or under' And I about flipped, then he goes 'But I weight 189 so I'm good to go'.. So I got up, got dressed and went to MEPS. At 6'1'' and 189lbs he looked so thin. For the past 5 years we've dated he's stayed around 215lbs and that's what I was used to. We pretty much just sat in silence. I watched him swear in and got some good pictures and I was there while he got to eat lunch. But I had to leave so I could go to work.. And walking out of there and knowing it was the last time I'd see him until he graduated was so hard. I started crying so hard I couldn't talk, which made him cry and it just.. sucked.

I cried all the way to work, at work, he called me when he was at the airport and right before he took off. Then he called me when he got into Chicago. He was crying when he told me he loved me and I about lost it. His mom ended up calling me at about 1am to let me know he had gotten onto base.

And now here I am. All alone. It's so different. I come home and see his car still in the driveway and I just get sad coz I know he's not there. Our dog completely bypasses me when I walk in the door and just keeps looking for him. He made me a build-a-bear before he left in a Sailor's outfit and he sprayed him with his cologne for me.. And I sleep with it every night. Sometimes I walk into our room and I just burst into tears because he's everywhere in there. His clothes, shoes, cologne and even stupid receipts he took out of his pocket the day he left.

No ones heard from him since Monday.. I don't know how he's doing or anything. I'm sure he's doing fine.. I just miss him. It's hard. Everyone keeps checking on me, telling me it'll be okay and it'll go by faster than I know it. Well, the past 4 days have completely drug on. Work keeps me occupied for about 8 hours but it still just drags on.

I've started writing already. I feel like I have so much to tell him since he's gone. If I sent pictures will he be able to keep them? Also - how long til he can write me so I know where to send letters to? Everyone tells me it'll be a few weeks but that's so long to wait.

Oh well. I just keep looking forward to when I go up for his graduation and I see him looking so proud in his uniform.

[NavyMomx2]

First of all - keep writing - that will save your sanity somewhat. Definatley send pictures, but remember they should be G rated and DO NOT send scented paper/cards etc. He will ge a ration of crap about that and may have to be "beat". Don't worry, they don't physically beat them, that is what they call individual, well-monitored, extra exercise. Remember to keep your letters positive and filled with encouragement. He needs no distractions of bad news or your blues.

He's fine - trust me on this. He is extremly busy, isn't getting a lot of sleep, getting used to his new routine, learning something new every minute of every day and will have a ton to tell you at graduation.

Be expecting a box (unless he sends it to his mom's house) with all his belongings in it. This does not mean that he is in danger or ill - it just means that everything he needs the Navy has provided for him and he has sent back what he cannot use and has no room to store. The box seems to be a hard one to swollow at first - so handle it however works for you. Throw it in a closet unopened or open it and check all the pockets for maybe a possible note he left for you - this never happened with my kids, but I have heard of this happening.

You will get a form letter next from the Navy thanking you for the new recruit (not in those words, but that's the jist of it) and he will be able to write about three lines at the bottom of the letter. Those three lines I read over and over and over and over...that form letter went with me everywhere...

I don't know if it has changed, but you used to be able to call RTC and give them your recruit's name, social or last four and they would tell you his ship/div and probable graduation date. Does anyone else know if this is still a possibility?

Some days/weeks will drag, but staying positve on the homefront makes a huge difference. Remembering why he joined in the first place, reminding yourself what an awesome opportunity this will be for him. I know you must think he is completely awesome just the way he is, but as I've said in many many posts - he will be the new and improved version of the man that left just four short days ago - you will be totally amazed - the Navy does an awesome job with these men and women. He will stand taller and prouder and there will be the confidence in everything he does and the pride of being a United States Sailor will be evident with just one look at him.

Hang in there - if you need us, if you have questions, someone seems to always be here. Most of us have been in your shoes in one way or another and we are here to support you through this roller coaster ride called Boot Camp. It really does get easier as the days pass - have faith.

[Retired Navy Chief]

You think you were bawling when he left ??? wait until you see him during Pass In Review !!!! :bigemo54: Gonna be rivers flowing hahahaha

You did good, standing by him. You both will learn from these experiences and when he has reached the point in his career where he is running people like this ... he will do everything in his power to make it easier for them.

Hang in there and keep us updated.

PISTOL

[Kristie]

Hang in there....you are doing fine....just keep writing all you can to encourage him during this time and do send pictures with every letter....mine begged for pictures each time.....it is so much harder on those left at home because we just sit and wait but they are so busy time will fly for him....

Hang with us and you will make it through...

[DesertSailor72]

I know it's hard, but it's pretty much worth it in the end, you know? Whether you send them or not, I'd definitely keep writing. They don't always get the mail on time (depends on who's messing up in the division sometimes) but when they do it's something to really look forward to, even if it's only a few lines.

Good job on being supportive, just keep it up. :smile: His PIR will be here before you know it and then you both get to look forward to the next thing together.

[pandemoniac]

I don't think I could get more frustrated. Sometimes I want to scream and other times I just want to cry.

It's so hard not having him around. In the past 5 years, I can count on one hand when I didn't get to talk to him for a full day. Now I haven't seen, or spoken to him since May 12th. Monday will be 3 weeks. Still no letter, no nothing. His stupid box of stupid clothes got sent to his mom, and I know I shouldn't be hurt because of that but I'm jealous she got to smell him.

I've seen on other forums, where people in his same division and ship have sent letters and their moms and girlfriends or whoever have gotten them. He hasn't sent anything.

Apparently his PIR is July 3rd, also. Div 240 Ship 12. But that's not 9 weeks. But it's listed on the site. I don't get it.

I'm also pretty upset because of the way things are working out. He had originally told me his stimulus check was for me to cash and use to take time off and to pay for my plane ticket and everything. Because I've already used my vacation time this year for him getting ready for bootcamp and being sick. Well, I received an email from his mother today asking for his check because he told her she could have it. Go figure, and I can't tell his mom no.

I guess I'm just upset because I have to do this all on my own, make all the arrangements on my own (all his family is in another state and has their support system and ways to work things out) and I'm alone in Florida with no help. I feel like a big cry baby, and I'm angry about that because I think about what he's doing and how easy I have it.

And I dunno. I guess I just need to stop.

[cousinIT]

okay sweetie, i know it's hard for you, but take a step back. actually look at the situation you two are in at the moment. he's joined the navy maybe for a sense of adventure that he has, or for the financial benefit that the military offers. he wasnt just thinking of himself when he joined. he was thinking about y'alls future! the military is so great when you're married. you dont have to worry about medical, dental or your rent! the navy has you covered. yes, you do have to be seperated for sometime, but that's the job we have. we're serving our country to make sure that our families at home are taken care of by any means necessary. i know i have definitley changed my perspective since my first actual cruise. i'm out here at sea showing our navy's strengh and protecting my country. there is no better feeling! just remember this isnt just for him, whether he's told you or not, subconsciously he's thinking of you too, hun. i know it's hard! trust me, it's not easy for him either. i was in his shoes not too long ago. hang in there, and if you need to talk, just pm me and i'll give you my email address!! you can just vent your little heart out! hang in there!

[pandemoniac]

I got letters! 2 of them, and he and he had written quite a bit. His last one was as of Memorial day and he was still saying he hadn't gotten any letters from me and by that point I had sent out atleast 6. I checked the address and I had it right. I dunno what it going on though.

After I ranted in here lastnight I had to sit myself down, have a good cry, and remind myself I was just having a bad day and today would be better. It was. I woke up to letters!

Anyways, he's not too miserable yet. He says his Division is full of idiots. He says there's a few guys in there who have already started fights and even tried to knock a RDC out which meant they all caught crap for it. Apparently one of their RDC's is decent, and their Chief leaves them with hilarious quotes like 'Please go unsuck yourself' or will tell someone to "go unsuck him". He also said marching is hard because there's a few people who can't keep a beat and end result was them marching 12 miles straight the other day.

He also got sick (as did half of his Div) and they finally forced him to go to the Dr to find out he had a temp of 103, so he had to stay in for a day.

His graduation is on July 3rd, provided he gets all his dental done. He had a few cavities, but theres 3 or 4 teeth on the side that were broken in half after getting hit with a hockey puck last year and they're talking about yanking them all out and giving him dentures. What the hell. He's 21.

Oh well. Atleast I know he's alive and okay.

[NavyMomx2]

Jennifer - you are such a good big sister. I love, miss and am soooooo proud of you.

[Retired Navy Chief]

Glad you heard from him ... there will be more rolling in I'm sure. He's just busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger right now, so he doesn't always have time to write like he would normally do.

But .... he does have time to READ letters from home, so write every day if possible. Does wonders for his self esteem.

This is all part of that emotional roller-coaster ride that you have heard of. It does get better ... especially if you two keep communicating with each other.

Keep us updated ...

Cheers,
PISTOL

P.S. CousinIT ... keep up the good work, Shipmate !! One Navy, One Family.

[cousinIT]

I'm just glad to know she's doing better! You'll be with him again soon. The time really goes by fast! Keep your head up and write him everyday! Trust me, he needs it!