My Fiancee

[QuantumQuark]

My fiancee left for boot camp on the 19th of February. We're in a strange position. We met last year while she was on holiday here in Sydney. We got to talking, and kept talking, and started our relationship. Unfortunately, she signed up for the Navy before we got serious. I proposed to her shortly before she left - something to help her through, let her know she had a future waiting for her at the end, and I don't regret it at all.

It's her sixth week there this week. She's doing incredibly well and I'm so proud of her (particuarly academically - her intelligence is what attracted me to her) but she's hurting and not doing so well at the physical training. Her 1.5 mile run is still only 17 minutes. Only, hah. Better than I could do. I was reading about the process of boot camp ("How to survive Navy Basic Training") and it honestly made me sick to think about my dodi in a position like that. I don't think I've ever had as much vitriol for something as I do the United States Navy at this point.

I miss her dearly and would do anything to talk to her again and to be with her. What can I expect in terms of being able to communicate with her after Basic? Letters are painfully slow and my family is sick to death of me stressing about getting them out on time. Her letters come in odd timings and groups, where I will occasionally get one she wrote on Sunday on Friday and get the other two she wrote the next week. She didn't have the correct international number and I didn't get her first prize phonecall. I'm sending her good news and photos and words of encouragement but at the same time I wish like nothing else that she hadn't gone. She didn't want to leave when it was time, either.

She will be training as an Electrician's mate, at Great Lakes I assume. How often would I be able to expect to talk with her or exchange messages? Are phones allowed, or Internet access? about.com mentions the concept of "liberty" in a-school - what does this mean? I gather that we won't be able to have the into-the-night conversations we used to have before she left but would communicating be at all feasible?

Finally, what are the options after she graduates A-school? Is there any likelihood of her being able to gain a posting to Sydney or somewhere else in Australia? What would be the domestic situation? Would we have to formally marry for her to be allowed housing freedoms or is a de facto situation (which I would most certainly want after I finish my teaching degree) enough? Finally, if she is posted onto a ship what is the communication situation in that case?

I apologise for venting like this, but this seemed like a community who would understand what I'm going through (not even to mention what my baby is going through!). Thank you in advance for any replies.

[glennsmom]

Well I can answer some of your questions. Sorry she is struggling with her running but that is quite common and they really do work with them.

As far as A School, she will be able to have a cell phone or use a pay phone and can call whenever she is not in training. She could call every day if she wanted. Liberty is where they get to leave base but have to be back at night.

They usually find out where they will be stationed toward the end of their A School and it could be anywhere.

Glad you joined us and hopefully more will add their wisdom and answer your questions more fully.

[QuantumQuark]

Thanks for your reply!

I've made sure she knows that there's no pressure from me about the running - it's not something that I'm going to get mad at her about. I am seriously proud of her academics, though, 100% on the written test.

I spoke to my best mate today, whose friend is a Naval mechanic and he allayed my worries about her freedom to talk to me after Basic, but any advice or answers people have would still be very much appreciated.

[Kristie]

Welcome....

Once they complete Boot Camp they go into the stage we like to call "The Other Side".....it is wonderful. They are allowed cell phones, laptops etc once they are in A school. Most have access to internet via their room, bowling alley and other wireless hotspots. They do have to pay for internet access intheir room but usually they go together and pay for it.....

And my daughter was down to her very last try on her run and made it....everyone helps them out to make sure that they do well....

[QuantumQuark]

That does sound wonderful, thank you.

Her morale wasn't the best for the first month or so but I'm hoping the fact that she's finally getting my letters and that she has something to look forward to will help her through.

Just another question - Jordanna doesn't have her own laptop, yet. We plan on organising one for her very soon (as soon as we can afford to, really) but for a little while at least she won't have one. Is there computer access at A-school?

Thanks again for your reply.

[Kristie]

She will get better with time.....my daughter made it through just fine....

Most places do have internet access available in their rooms but they do have to pay for it....

[QuantumQuark]

Heh. That won't bother me. I'll pay for it if necessary.

[QuantumQuark]

Sorry, just one other question if anyone has time.

She's sent me more letters, and she's very worried about not passing her run. What's the process if she doesn't pass? Is it simply being held back or is it possible to actually fail Basic and void your contract with the Navy?

[KYmom]

They will put her in a fit division and work with her till she passes and then they will put her back in her division if possible or another depending upon how long it takes to pass.

[QuantumQuark]

Ah, thank you. So there's no chance she can "flunk out" then?

Not that I'd necessarily mind too much, 5 years is a long time to wait to get married and move in... But she's really concerned about it, so I'm worried for her.

[Sirhcrod]

If I'm not mistaken, you have 3 tries until they process you out. Though, I may be mistaken

[QuantumQuark]

Aaahh.

I just got a letter where she told me her foot is clicking and popping and turning a strange colour. Do they not recognise medical problems at Basic? Are RDCs somehow not trained to send off people with serious problems to the doctor and instead tell them to "work through it?!"

Is there any way she can get out of her contract at this point? This is a joke, a sick joke.

[KYmom]

Oouch! ! ! They try to get them to work thru it and to get their basic finished.
From the stories I have heard about the holding unit/sick bay - she doesn't want to go there unless she has too. Either she wants to finish and get thru basic at some point or she doesn't want to stay at all. If she wants to stay in - then she may be better off to try and just get thru it. If she is wanting out all together than that may be her ticket out if she pushes the issue.

Is she wanting out or are you wanting her out?? You need to be supportive of what she wants if you truley love her. (If you truley love your bird you will let it spread it's wings and fly, if it loves you, it will return and hang around)

She needs your support right now no matter what happens if she is having medical problems with her foot. Just write her supporting encouraging letters, she needs this more than anything.

[QuantumQuark]

I want her out - I won't deny that.

She's saying, though, that she shouldn't have done it. That it was a bad idea. I just think the peer pressure and the "fear of failure" are keeping her from wanting out.

I'm letting her know that I support her completely, no matter what she does, but to seriously consider not finishing. She told me she should have listened to me when I asked her not to go, well, I'm asking that she listen to me now. She's not suited to the military.

[KYmom]

If my math is correct she should be getting ready to graduate this week?
or next? When is her scheduled PIR?

[KYmom]

I want her out - I won't deny that.

She's saying, though, that she shouldn't have done it. That it was a bad idea. I just think the peer pressure and the "fear of failure" are keeping her from wanting out.

I'm letting her know that I support her completely, no matter what she does, but to seriously consider not finishing. She told me she should have listened to me when I asked her not to go, well, I'm asking that she listen to me now. She's not suited to the military.


Sometimes we make decisions in life according to what our partner wants and not follow our heart, and then later on in life we regret not doing or finishing things due to other people in our life's at that time. Please don't do that to her. If you are mean't to be together her service commitment will only temporaily delay that, but it will make your commitment to each stronger. If you are truley mean't for each other.
Please don't let her make decisions out of guilt or fear that you won't be there. Not saying that you have done this my any means, but I have seen this happen to people.

[QuantumQuark]

She's meant to be graduating this week, yes. She hasn't passed enough tests though, I don't think.

She says that the Navy is a means to an end. In the end she just wants to be with me, and she thought the Navy would make that easier. I was fine with that, and supporting it. But now she's hurt, and it could get a lot worse. That's what's motivating what I'm saying to her now. Nothing is worth her pain. Nothing at all.

[Retired Navy Chief]

I want her out - I won't deny that.

She's saying, though, that she shouldn't have done it. That it was a bad idea. I just think the peer pressure and the "fear of failure" are keeping her from wanting out.

I'm letting her know that I support her completely, no matter what she does, but to seriously consider not finishing. She told me she should have listened to me when I asked her not to go, well, I'm asking that she listen to me now. She's not suited to the military.


What you aren't saying in words is coming through loud and clear in your demeanor. I believe that the reason she isn't doing as well as she could be is because she is not getting the "support" that you SAY that you are giving her. She knows that you would be ok with her not making it and therefore coming home to you .... and THAT, my friend is what is sabotaging her !!
Quote "I'm letting her know that I support her completely, no matter what she does, but to seriously consider not finishing". ARE YOU KIDDING ME ??? What kind of support is that ??
It isn't that she isn't suited to the military ... it's YOU that isn't. Of course the peer pressure and fear of failure is what is getting her through ... that is what helps all of us do things that are difficult, you included.

When I was in bootcamp, I wanted out in the worst way and sent letters to my wife stating that fact in no uncertain terms. You know what kind of sympathy and support I received from her ??
"I love you honey, but you need to finish this. You wouldn't respect yourself if you quit". That kind of straight talk is what gave me the push I needed to get through. I really don't think SHE would have respected ME if I quit either.


Your lady is doing something that a lot of young women can't ... you need to truly understand that and then relay that to her !! She needs for you to constantly tell her how much you RESPECT her for what she is doing and how PROUD you are of her and how you can't wait for her to PASS ALL OF HER TESTS so you and her can get on with making your family together.

At the risk of sounding callous.... quit being a romantic softee :bigemo54::shakeheadno:and start backing your womans decision 100%.

PISTOL

[QuantumQuark]

I have been nothing but supportive since she began. I've been sending letters giving her nothing but encouragement and praise and love. I've been building pictures of our life together, telling her my plans for what I can help her with and do for her when she's in A-school and on a ship, softening the blow of her failures and reminding her that she can do it. That all I ask from her is her best and she's giving 110%.

At this point, however, she is in actual, physical pain, and she's being forced to work through it. Not necessarily physically but psychologically and emotionally, she is being forced. I'm no doctor, but what she's described about her foot is in no way something I feel that she should be running and training on. That's why I'm reacting like this now.

[Sirhcrod]

I hate to say this but you're being far too dramatic, and a softee as Chief said. People do get hurt in boot camp. It is part of physical training, there's always that risk. If her foot is clicking and popping she probably twisted or sprained it. The 'color changing' is simply bruising of the area. If it was anything severe she would not be able to put weight on it.

I'm sorry but the support you have been offering to her is far from the support she needs. I haven't been in boot camp, but I know that when I get in, I will immediately want back out. That is why my girlfriend knows when to kick my ass and say "Finish this." Both parents have said, "You're not coming back out unless it's through graduation." And you know what? That's exactly the motivation I need. Your fiance is doing something amazing with her life, and you saying "You need to consider not doing this" is causing her to lose her drive. Do her a favor and help her push through it.

[QuantumQuark]

See, that seems wrong to me. Fear shouldn't ever be a motivation for someone to achieve something, and I'd honestly never feel comfortable creating fear to motivate someone.

I guess it's why I'm an academic and not military, I guess.

I've torn up the letter, though. I have to fight the protective urge. But I'll certainly never act like this is her only chance.

[Sirhcrod]

Honestly, I completely understand where you're coming from. You want everything to be ok for the person you love, and you want them to be as comfortable as possible.

But I think the fact of the matter is that she is already in. She's already come so far (even getting in is not as easy as it sounds), and she sounds like she deserves to succeed. I know it's hard not being able to talk to her now, but as soon as she's done with bootcamp she will have LOADS of time to talk to you. And after that, you guys can get married and even live with each other, you so choose. I've been in a long distance relationship before, and the key to it is understanding that just because it hurts now doesn't mean there's no hope for tomorrow.

I'm not saying, and I dont think chief was trying to say either, that FEAR is the core drive for a recruit. But it does help. The real drive for most, if not all recruits, is to say "Yeah, I finished bootcamp, what's next?" It's a stepping stone to adulthood, and I can honestly say that if your fiance left without finishing, she would lose a lot of respect for herself.

[QuantumQuark]

I've never once not been proud of how she's done - she absolutely aced her entrance tests (topped her class in Electronics), 100% on her academic test and she's trying hard at the physicals. When she's seriously hurting herself though is when my instinct is to go from support to aid, if you know what I mean.

I'm writing another letter soon which I'm going to just advise her to push on (after seeing the doctor, that is.)

[Sirhcrod]

That's great man, and I know it's hard but it's going to help her a lot. As corny as it sounds to some people the "I know you can do it" thing always helps. And coming from you, it will mean that much more. Tell her also that she has a community here cheering her on as well!

[KYmom]

See, that seems wrong to me. Fear shouldn't ever be a motivation for someone to achieve something, and I'd honestly never feel comfortable creating fear to motivate someone.

I guess it's why I'm an academic and not military, I guess.

I've torn up the letter, though. I have to fight the protective urge. But I'll certainly never act like this is her only chance.

I understand where you are coming from but this is military - if your running from the enemy and you stop because your foot hurts, your a gonner. You have to learn to suck it up and go.
Same goes in daily life, we can't stay home from work everytime we feel bad or have a headache. My sailor son knew if he attempted to stay home from school he had better be sick, cause he was coming to the doctors office to be seen and have to lay all day. No staying home . . . I had a cot set up in the back office for him to lay after the doc seen him and verified he was sick, if he wasn't I took him on to school. LOL. . . .
He would go and not complain - because going to school sick beat lying here sick or not. LOL . . hehehehe

If she is in bad enough shape they will send her to medical, and this will delay her PIR and her seeing you at graduation.

[QuantumQuark]

She... won't be seeing me at graduation.

I can't afford to fly to America. Especially not in the middle of Uni.

Also, I'm honestly not a believer in being made to do things sick or hurt. I mean, yeah, if I've just got the sniffles I won't skip Uni or call in sick to work, but for serious things? I tore a ligament in my foot at work, and I certainly didn't try to keep working on it. And if what had happened to her foot happened to mine I'd be doing my best to stay off it and let it heal. Not running laps.

[Retired Navy Chief]

Your points are well taken and please, don't take it like I am thinking poorly of you for showing concern for your fiancee because that is completely admirable.
I do, however ... understand what it takes to turn squishy, undisciplined civilians into finely tuned United States Navy Sailors. I know what happens in bootcamp especially when it comes to training injuries, motivation and drive.


The United States Navy pushes literally thousands of men and women through this same training program every year and have done so for a very, very long time. They know what they are doing.
Based on your description, the injury that she is suffering through is very common and while it is causing swelling, discoloration and a strong desire to rethink why she is there to begin with ... it is not crippling or life threatening. She has a complete medical staff on site 24 hours a day / 7 days a week if it becomes something that requires immediate attention. They can not and will not make her do anything that she should not medically do.

The trainers thoroughly understand this type of injury as well and use this to add value to creating motivation, dedication and drive in sailors. Many of which have come from very pampered backgrounds or have never been taught what it means to be steadfast and determined. On the other side of the coin, there are also those sailors who have to be taught to recognize when they are pushing too hard and need to back off and ask for medical assistance. (I was in that group :rolleyes:).

You may think this all sounds very odd, but in todays society (at least in America) these are issues that we battle on a daily basis in the military. There are far too many "Generation X-box 360" kids coming to us today.

It all boils down to this .... in her very near future, someones life may very well depend on the way she reacts when she gets hurt. Every sailor must know that someone will have their back when things go wrong ... even though they may be hurt or injured. This is, of course, the worse case scenario but the same lessons learned will benefit her in many other areas of her life ... I choose to focus on the worst case scenarios because of the nature of the job sailors do on a daily basis.

I hope she gets things figured out and finishes bootcamp in style !! With the career field that she is in, the rest of her Navy career will be a lot less physically strenuous.

Cheers,
PISTOL

[NavyMomx2]

Okay, you ready for an old lady's point of view? Well, too bad if you're not cause here goes:

I'm not, nor have ever been in the Navy or any other military branch, however, knowing what I know from having two children serve in the Navy and having such a large family here that are obviously Navy and from my observation pretty smart individuals, I would say in my humble opinion that you have to be pretty damned "academic" and physically and mentally fit to be able to join/survive/advance in our great country's Navy.

It seems to me that you mean by saying "I'm an academic and not military, I guess", {which doesn't sound very intellegent, I guess), that you are more intelligent than the rest of us? Am I reading that wrong? That may have not been what you meant, but that is how it read, and honestly, I don't take kindly to that young man! If you are going to have the nerve to come on here, a United States Navy family website, when you aren't living in America (or an American?) nor plan on even coming to your financee's graduation to show your supposed support and love - ppfff then honestly, I don't have time for you.

I honestly hope the best for this fine young lady, who will get through this with or without your support. Because if she is American and female - dude, there is no stopping her! I hope she goes far with her career and finds peace with her life.

I'm sorry if I've offended anyone here, but honestly if you are gonna trash my Country and our United States Navy's way of doing things - there's the door, please don't let it hit you on the way out!

[QuantumQuark]

I did not intend any offense with my comment - I meant that I am not a physically inclined person and more suited to study, and hence more suited to life in University than life in the Navy.

No, I am not an American. Nor do I live in America. I am a student from Sydney, Australia. However, my fiancee is American. Do you understand how difficult getting to her graduation would be? If nothing else, I don't have the money for a plane ticket or accomodation at this point, and there is no way I could book a flight in this time frame.

I am doing all I can to show her what she means to me, and I do actually take offense to the implication that because I care for her safety and welfare and consider them a higher priority above a job in the Navy that I do not love her, and that because I can't summon the money to fly wherever I want to in the world at a whim that I do not care about her.

The one thought getting her through this is not the career in front of her or the places she'll go or the experiences she'll have. She's said time and again she doesn't care about them. The thought getting her through is being with me and thinking about our future life. In Australia, I might add. That is why I need her to know that no matter what happens in Basic she'll have me, and that my love and devotion is not dependent on how she does at a running race.

She may be American and female, but she wants very much to be Australian and my wife. I just need her to know she'll always have that waiting no matter what happens.

[QuantumQuark]

Also, thank you, Pistol. I know I'm probably being overprotective and dramatic (and I'm trying to get over that urge).

I did request that she see the doctor in my latest letter, though.

[Sirhcrod]

I understand how the plane ticket would be horrible to pay for. If I were you though, I'd do a search and see if maybe you can find a deal. If your fiance gives you a ticket, you will have accomodations on base, which is a pretty nice hotel that costs about $60 USD a night. I'd try to look at some of the cheaper airlines if I were you because if you're who she's doing this for, than it'd be good for her to see you at the finish.

But you are aware that when she graduates from boot camp, she doesn't exactly have a specific choice as to where she will be station right? And she also won't stay in the same place for her entire career. Something to think about.

[QuantumQuark]

Unfortunately I've been unable to find anything cheaper. Flights to the US are pretty difficult to organise.

Also, if I suggested the idea of spending over 2 grand to fly over for a weekend I'm pretty sure she'd hit me.

I'm okay with the fact that she'll be stationed in different places. We dealt with only talking through MSN for quite a while, though, and we can manage phonecalls and whatever Internet time she can get. She's planning to travel here on her time off.

[NavyMomx2]

So why is it that she can find the money to go see you, but you can't to go see her...things that make you go hmmmmm.

[QuantumQuark]

Given the 8 months she'll be in A-school earning a full salary she'd have it by the end of the year. Not to mention cheaper travel through the military.

Heck, if I'm careful I could probably have the money by the end of the year too, but I definitely can't save it up in time for her graduation.

I'm sorry, though, have I done something to offend you?

[matt's mom]

If she doesn't care about her career, places she will see, experiences and only getting back to you why join in the first place. How can she have the highest grade on her test when she is only in boot camp and not A school yet? IF all she is helping her through is thinking aobut the when you guys can be together ect the 5 yrs will go by very slowly and she will miss out on alot.
Full Salalry???????? How much you thin they make??????????
Cheaper travel, NOT

I too wish this person a huge success.
I agree you knew for sometime about grad. and how important it would be that if you wanted to be here you would of found a way.

[KYmom]

Given the 8 months she'll be in A-school earning a full salary she'd have it by the end of the year. Not to mention cheaper travel through the military.

Heck, if I'm careful I could probably have the money by the end of the year too, but I definitely can't save it up in time for her graduation.

I'm sorry, though, have I done something to offend you?



Where do military get cheaper travel, do you know something we don't???
the only discount in flights is about $20.00 difference.
Military people are not given any advantages in travel, but they really should, and they should be paid more than they are because there pay is very meager to start out with.

[KYmom]

Oh, Something else I just thought of and somebody else may need to chime in here.
Depending upon where she is stationed at whether or not she can even travel to Austrilian to visit you. Anytime they take their 10 day leave they have to report where they are going and how they can be contacted. They may not let her leave the United States to come there, and if she is stationed somewhere out of the states they still may not let her. So I think you may need to make your travel arrangements to visit her wherever she will be.

[NavyMomx2]

You offend me by thinking that you know everything there is to know about Navy life. How they should train them, without pain etc. that the military gets cheaper travel?? that she will have enough money saved up to come see you - oh I could go so many places with this one...but, as above, how much do you think she is gonna make her first year? It's not much, trust me, I know, I have two in the military in their first year.

Can you answer a personal question for me? How did you two meet? Online? Have you ever actually met in person and if so, who flew to see who?

[sweetmtn]

Boy do I agree with you ladies! I am offended as MY FAMILY IS FROM AUSTRALIA! My family has always taught me and my brother and sister to NEVER GIVE UP....always give more than 100%...I also have been told "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger!" If my two sons acted like you are towards their fiances...I WOULD BEAT THEM UPSIDE THEIR HEADS! Now being a mom, yes, if she is TRULY hurt..the Navy can not force her to do any running. But I am a retired COP...and we had pretty much the same type of training...and if you were slightly hurt..you better dam well push yourself through it..or you were just a WHIMP!
YOU my young man...seem to be WAY to needy and your so called belovid has probably figured that out by now. IF she does come back to you ...I will lay odds that she dumps you with in 2 years.. Believe me I know...I know how someone is "BOOK SMART"..but have ABSOLUTELY NO COMMON SENCE! You sound JUST LIKE MY BOSS! Believe me..no woman worth her salt wants a man like that around for long. So buck up there "mate"...get a grip, and grow a spine...you may just never see her again.
Sorry if you feel you are being bashed here....but you with your comments on how the USA and the great US NAVY does things...opened yourself up to this one:LforLoser:

[QuantumQuark]

Everything I am saying about the Navy is exactly what *she* has told me about how it works, what her recruiter said and what her trainers are saying now. She was the one to suggest saving for flights and cheap travel - I trusted her and what she was told about it.

The atmosphere here is frankly laughable. I apologised for implying that I was more intelligent than some of the people here, as I didn't mean that, but now I think I may just say it outright. Who are you to speak of my not having common sense, or commenting on the strength or reasons for a relationship you know absolutely nothing about?

I'm sorry it seems to raise hackles when someone questions how the great and almighty US does things, but I was raised to think for myself and question authority and not to submit to the sort of barbarism my girlfriend is currently experiencing. She went to the Navy because she believed it was her last chance for training at a job, and not out of this frankly scary attitude of jingoism and zealotry.

Thanks for everyone who actually answered questions about her time in Basic, and didn't try to draw far-reaching conclusions about a relationship between two people they don't even know based on blatantly wrong assumptions, and call into question the love and devotion of a man who misses the best thing in his life.

Congratulations - you've proved you have the worst of the qualities the United States has to offer. How DARE you question my love for her, and her for me? You know nothing about us, yet you'll assume you do? How typically American. It's no wonder she wants to live here if this is the sort of attitude she encounters every day.

She wants to do her time, and come here. That's her one goal. She spent the whole lecture about fleet before family and her promotion track dreaming about our children. And that's what makes her happy.

Thank you to those who were helpful, and to those who would prefer to pull apart and question the love of two wholly devoted young people I say this - in 5 years, you're going to be losing one of your fine American citizens to this beastly foreign man. And we'll both be enjoying every minute of it.

[denmom]

Well I wasn't going to comment but I have a question for you.
If this young woman wants to come and be with you so badly why didn't she just do it.

Why join the navy knowing full well (as you say she knows how the navy is) that you would be apart for so long.

And i'm sorry to say this but how dare you bash the country that your young lady is from. How do you think she would feel about that? Especially seeing as she has decided to defend this great country that you are now bashing.

Also no one here is bashing the country that you live in so how would you feel if the tables were turned. and say you went into your military.
And your lady was bashing you or your country?

I am a Navy veteran and a proud navy parent. I am deeply saddened at how you are supporting this young lady you seem to care for so much.

[NavyMomx2]

Amazing how he didn't bother to answer the question I asked...more things that make you go hmmmm.

[Retired Navy Chief]

Doggone it ...... I spent about a half hour writing this loooong post in response to all of this and for some reason it "disappeared" when I hit send.
Must be a sign from the great Master Chief in the sky that I need to keep my nose out of things :angel:.

Suffice it to say that this thread has deteriorated into a puddle of goo by this point.

I would like to point out that while military members don't get any breaks on prices of airfare .... they, their spouses & kids ARE entitled to taking Space Available flights to anywhere in the world that a US military aircraft travels.
Not sure what regular flights there may be to Sydney ... but she could check into them. I have used them to bring my family to Germany and we had an easy go of it. Total cost to me IIRC was less than $100.00 for the whole family. That is very doable even on an E-1 budget !!

Have your sailors look into this ... Space A flights ... run by the US Air Force.

Oh yeah, and everyone .... PLAY NICE or get out of the sandbox :biggrin::evil:

Cheers,
PISTOL

[NavyMomx2]

I guess I'll just get out of the Sandox - but by God, I will NOT let anyone trash my country.

[Tyler's Dad]

" someone questions how the great and almighty US does things, but I was raised to think for myself "

Think about this- your cyber girl friend is gone on to better things. Slink back into your 'puter and dream up another scenario for your love life. See ya.

[Wini]

Bravo Tyler's Dad well said.

[AppleJax's Mom]

OKAY - after reading all of this - I must say - SON if you were engaged to my daughter - Boy would I have an issue. If you fiance was so wanting to move to Australia and be with you - she should not have joined the Navy. Joining the military - any branch should not be looked as as the last resort after all the person joining is making a commitment to protect and service the great USA - not last chance at a job - GIVE ME A BREAK. No one forced her to join it was her choice. You picked the wrong place to vent about Americans and your fiance at boot camp - most of us here are moms, dad, retired and currently active military so all of us know the deal with boot camp and what goes on. Not being from the USA you have none if any knowledge of how our GREAT NAVY WORKS!! I am Navy Mom whose daughter is currently serving - went thru basic almost two years ago and I take great offence to your attitude and your demeaner and your lack of support for her and our military - get over it buddy - your fiance will make it - I wish I had her address to write to her and show her the real encourgement and stuff she needs to get thru basic and get thru this set back.

Now that she has joined - she has joined a huge caring family - NAVY FAMILY and we all support and back each other so you know what sending positive thoughts to her even with not knowing her name or anything about her - I believe she will make it and graduate basic and find she just may like the Navy - hopefully with out your negativty and what not. :LforLoser:

Carrie
PROUD US NAVY MOM!!!!

[QuantumQuark]

Oh, hey, it's still alive.

Guess what? She's coming home. Declared medically separated yesterday, shipping back out in another month or so, after being stuck in the RCU for a month with tendonitis and a stress fracture. But clearly she didn't need to see a doctor about her foot or anything, I was just an overprotective softie.

And when she got the chance to call me, and now she knows I'm not mad or disappointed with her? She's happy about it. The Navy has been the worst experience of her life, and she's not going to be signing up again in 6 months.

And instead of going to A-school, now we're going halves in a plane ticket for her to spend a month here with me. She's absolutely ecstatic.

So much happened to her in the RCU that made me absolutely furious, the way her "therapists" treated her, her not being allowed to go to Friday night services, the list goes on. But it's over now. She's leaving and she's never going back. She's going to be back with people who care about her and understand her, and she'll be able to heal up properly and start getting over the abuse and humiliation she's had to bear.

Thanks again to those who were actually helpful.

[KYmom]

Glad to see you post a update on her situation, no matter what you thought of our opinions. We do care about what happens to all of our sailors in boot camp and after. Some people are not cut out for Military Life no matter how much they think they are before they go.
You did ruffle some feathers with some, but when you post things they are not always taken as they are meant to be taken.
Tell her good luck on whatever she chooses to do with her future and we thank her for her effort in joining and trying.
Glad to hear that you are helping to pay her way to see you.
Relationship's are a 50/50 deal. LOL...

[Retired Navy Chief]

You originally told us that she was suffering from "clicking and popping and turning a strange colour" .... now she has tendonitis and a stress fracture and getting put out on a medical discharge ???? :rolleyes:

Well, I hope now that she will be back in your care that you will get her back on track and where she needs to be. Obviously, she wasn't meant to be a sailor. Best to find out early.

While I still think you were being an over-protective softie ... I wish you both the best in the future. Keep up the 50/50 ...

PISTOL

[Sirhcrod]

Actually, that news is rather surprising. It's sad that someone goes through the whole trouble to enlist (Yes, it is a large pain in the @$$) and then changes their mind. If it is entirely due to the relationship, then it is even more sad... But hey, what works for others doesn't necessarily work for me. Wish you both the best of luck.

[sweetmtn]

I hope she gets well....yes she will be discharged from the Navy..right now they have her in ship 17 ...not a good place to be if you are not a strong person of mind and body. The Navy doctors and therapists are some of the best in the world...so if she is complaining about her care...hummm makes me wonder. You have said she had one injury and now a different injury. I personally know a kid who BROKE HIS LEG WHILE AT BOOT..he stayed and FINISHED! Yes it was after he spent months in the base hospital..This kid is a friend of my son. If for ANY reason you may have inadvertantly encouraged her to give up due to an injury..she may very well resent you later down the road. Dont worry about her wanting to re-up in 6 months..they tell all the discharged recruits they can..but when she gets her DD214 I will bet dollars to donuts her's will have an RE-4 rating..which means she can NEVER go into any branch ever again. Meaning she is unfit to serve. Not the best rating for someone who wants a future..
Be happy, and good luck

[SamuelJW]

I just joined up to let everybody know that, having known the OP over the Internet for probably at least a year or two now, a few of your suspicions were correct.

QuantumQuark has, in fact, never in his life met his darling perfect Jordanna. The thing about them meeting in Sydney? A complete bold faced lie.

In fact, they met on an online forum. An online forum about comic books. And a really bad one (http://super****ery.110mb.com/index.php) at that. Furthermore, another "girlfriend" of his (and as far as I know his only other girlfriend, ever) he met at the same exact site.

Hope you have a good time with this info.
Bye.

[Sirhcrod]

Hmm... I won't assume that is true, unless you could show us proof that they are on there. But I agree with sweet, she's not going to want that RE-4 to follow her around forever.

[Retired Navy Chief]

I just joined up to let everybody know that, having known the OP over the Internet for probably at least a year or two now, a few of your suspicions were correct.

QuantumQuark has, in fact, never in his life met his darling perfect Jordanna. The thing about them meeting in Sydney? A complete bold faced lie.

In fact, they met on an online forum. An online forum about comic books. And a really bad one (http://super****ery.110mb.com/index.php) at that. Furthermore, another "girlfriend" of his (and as far as I know his only other girlfriend, ever) he met at the same exact site.

Hope you have a good time with this info.
Bye.


Whatever .... troll
:LforLoser:.


I agree with Sweetmtn .... she won't be back. Sad, if that was something that she really wanted to do for herself.

PISTOL