Just thought I'd give my $.02

[Shipe]

Hey guys. I just thought I'd share a few of my bootcamp stories while they are still "fresh" in my mind.

Favorite one has to be...

The division was all gathered for instruction in the forward IG. We were all seated on our 2 packs with AO1 talking about something all of a sudden we hear a rather loud fart come out of the middle of the division and by that time we were all used to not laughing about anything and what does AO1 say? *sniff sniff* "Smells like fresh sperm." Of course we couldn't not laugh at that was about the best laugh I had at bootcamp lol.

Next one...

We were practicing for our first inspection and I was standing at attention and I had my lips opened just about 1cm and the "mean" petty officer comes around, looks at me, gets in my face and screams "Close your ****ing mouth!...haha shipe you crack me up." I did all I could to not smile at him lol was pretty funny.

Can't remember anymore right now but I'll think of some more if someone jogs my memory lol

[Shipe]

Ah!!! Just remember another one. We had just gotten back from our first PFT and everyone had ****ed up marching back and the Petty Officers were just in a general bad mood from us getting 2 demerit chits on 1-1 day so after we got back from the PFT they said, "alright time for excersise!" they had us doing 8 counts for a while then they started going "1,2,3,4,3,4,3,4,3,4,3,4" anyone who has done an 8 count knows 3 and 4 is the push-up part of the 8 count. I almost couldnt believe they were doing it right after the PFT and just as I thought that one of the Petty Officers says, "This is pretty ****ed up making you guys do push ups right after the PFT. hahaha." That was pretty funny looking back on it lol

[thenavysong]

Matt told me a hilarious story about his division today:

Some guy either made it halfway through without a mental illness being diagnosed, or he cracked under the stress (no one knows), but anyway, this kid smeared his poop on one of the shower curtains. RDC gave the group a chance to confess who did it. No one did, so he said he'd swab it for DNA.

The kid freaks out, and decides on his own that he's gonna clean it up before the swab can be taken. The Chief finds this kid scrubbing a shower curtain, takes him in the office, and probably gives the kid the worst verbal beatdown he'll ever hear in his life.

The kid is then forced to wear a sign taped to his shirt that said: "I shit on shower curtains" with a poorly drawn pile of poo drawn next to the letters. According to Matt, he had to rotate every 30 seconds while everyone else was prepping for an inspection.

Needless to say, poor guy was separated for reason of being mentally unfit.

[VaBchMom]

:lipsrsealed:

[DK3]

Story from my Army days. We had a kid in my company, not my platoon though that was brilliant. Super book smart, but had the common sense of a gnat. Why he was in the military is beyond me, however, we were on the rifle range. The Drill Sgts come over and start ragging the hell out of the company and this kid did something (I don't know what we were standing at attention in formation). The Drill Sgt yells for this kid to run to him, which he did. The kid reports to him, the Drill Sgt gives him a bucket that has been shot up, I mean lots and lots of holes. He then instructs said kid to fill this bucket up with water. The kid runs to the water faucet, turns it on and directs the water into the bucket. Obviously with all of the holes, water is not collecting in the bucket. About 4-5 Drill Sgts eventually make it over and surround this kid and are just yelling and tearing him a new ass since he isn't being speedy about filling this bucket full of water. So this kid is panicking and trying to cover all of these holes with his arms, hands and anything that he can find to no avail. After about 20 minutes of having fun with him, they have him return to his platoon.

- - -

Another good story in regards to me, still in Army Boot Camp. We were on the bayonet range. Drill Sgt Sour (not his full name, I still fully remember his name) calls me over to him. He gives me instructions to go get something for him. I yell "Yes Drill Sgt" and turn around and take off running. Unfortunately, I didn't see the tree that was there and run right into it, hard enough, that I ended up on the ground on my back looking up.

Sgt Sour comes over, bends over and staring at me. Pvt Todd, what are you doing. I yell my response, "I dont' know Drill Sgt". He stands back up and yells over to my platoon Drill Sgt, "Sgt Hardee, Pvt Todd has embarassed you again". Sgt Hardee wonders over to me, bends over and asked, "Pvt Todd, why are you embarassing me in front of Sgt Sour?". I again respond "I don't know Drill Sgt". So, now Sgt Sour starts ragging me out for embarassing Sgt Hardee and not knowing why I'm embarassing him. The beat down continued for about 20 minutes.

Also, my birth control glasses were broken in half by running into the tree.

- - -

A good story from the Navy Boot Camp. About the 6th week of training, the Chief calls me into his office. Apparently he found out (however way) that I had been in the Army and had obviously went through Army Boot Camp. He calls me in his office with a couple of First Classes standing around. He asked me a couple of my knowledge questions and then he asked if it is true that I had went through Army Boot Camp. I responded that I had. He then asked a very pointed question. Who was tougher, a Navy Chief or an Army Drill Sgt? I stumbled around hee-hawing back and fourth and finally, one of the first classes instructed me to provide a direct answer.

Rather stupidly, I answered. I responded "An Army Drill Sgt would eat a Navy Chief alive". At that point the Chief, calmly and politely thanks me for my answer and dismisses me. Later that day, everytime the Chief came around the division, he would look at me and instruct me to drop for 50 push ups. It later became so routine, all he would have to do is walk in where ever we were, look at me, move his hands back and fourth while pointing at me and that was my instruction to knock out 50 push ups.

[Shipe]

Nice, DK3. I cant believe you made that mistake lol.

TheNavySong, that story is hilarious. Probably why they dont have shower curtains anymore lol.

[thenavysong]

Nice, DK3. I cant believe you made that mistake lol.

TheNavySong, that story is hilarious. Probably why they dont have shower curtains anymore lol.

oh god, Matt told me about it on the phone yesterday and he couldn't stop laughing long enough to tell it. His letter about it filled in the parts I was missing.


I would imagine his division no longer has shower curtains. LOL

[Shipe]

oh god, Matt told me about it on the phone yesterday and he couldn't stop laughing long enough to tell it. His letter about it filled in the parts I was missing.


I would imagine his division no longer has shower curtains. LOL

Well my division never had shower curtains lol. although that might have been because we were living in a compartment that wasn't big enough for a full size div and it hadn't been lived in for a couple of years i believe.

[DK3]

We didn't have curtains either.