Hey - from a sad Mom

[navymom101]

I wanted to introduce myself - just been reading everything everyone else has written. Thought I would make myself feel better - writing about my SON!!

Bran arrived BC Jan. 30th, was due to graduate 3/30, but due to failing PT-2 running was placed in FIT Division. Due to being sick with strep throat and just in general not being a runner. He is so bummed out - not passing and wants so much to get out of there.

Received letter from Bran on Thursday - and it was so sad, reading how unhappy he was, being bored, didn't have the motivation anymore, was missing his family.
He said they only run ever other day and the other days just sit around. He said to me in his letter - "I don't want to be here any longer."

On top of everything else, he wasn't receiving any letters from family - due to us having the wrong address given to us.

We have now all received a letter from him, but all his letters written pretty much said the same thing to all of us - I'm bored, not motivated, and just want to come home (homesick).

[MsLesho]

Oh my! First of all, welcome to the site. This forum is a great way to express the feelings we as Navy parents share. We all go through those sad moments. It's good to have somewhere to go and to know that we do understand.

I can relate to part of your post. My son was ill for the majority of his entire 8 weeks at bootcamp (between bronchitis which turned into pnuemonia and having his wisdom teeth taken out). My heart hurt when I heard how awful he sounded. He finally got a chance to call and I wasn't home so he had to leave a message. To this day I don't know how he made it through!

I know how much Daniel waited on getting my mail so I can't imagine how forlorn your guy must've been to not be getting any for a time. I hope someone able to retrieve his mail and deliver it to him once the problem was discovered...so that he knows that indeed you were trying to support him in his efforts. If Bran was set on the Navy, this setback (as frustrating as it may be) shouldn't alter those feelings. Tell him to hang tough and this won't last forever....and, most importantly, that you are still cheering him on from the sidelines! I will certainly keep him and your entire family in my prayers and I hope your sadness passes soon.

LuEllen
PNM of Daniel ~ NPTU

[Mommadukes]

Wow, that is really sad, and hard on you I'm sure...I know as a mom when you're child is hurting you are hurting. :cry:

I missed my sons "first" call from bootcamp and I got a message on my phone, when I finally talked to him he told me how upset he was that I missed it ~ until he heard my story of dropping the phone, etc...he understood. :undecided:

Now that you have the correct address (and I don't understand why they couldn't get it to him even if it was wrong).....his spirits will lift once he hears from you and the family telling him how proud you are of him and how much you can't wait to see him!

Keep up the faith, I know my son is not out of boot camp yet, not until April 27th and I am still keeping my fingers crossed that the date doesn't change.

Whenever you're feeling down, come on the board and write, it's amazing how many times I doubted this decision of joining and when I hear from other parents, I know in my mind it's the right thing for him....my heart on the other hand tells a different story.

I'll keep him in my prayers......he'll get through, you'll see....:smile:

Dawn

[white7391]

Hey Navymom,

Would it help if we sent him a card. I would be happy to send him a card and tell him about my son that also didn't pass the run and was sent back to "fit" but ended up graduating on time. He can't give up hope. He needs all the encouragement you can give him.

Let us know if sending a card would help.

My email is: pwhite1@fuse.net

Peggy
PNM of Nuke submariner Daniel
USS Santa Fe :cheesy:

[JodieAK]

Oh my gosh, can I ever relate!!

First things first though - welcome to the Navy Cafe!! I'm glad you found somewhere you can find support - it is key!

My son arrived at Great Lakes on 6 JUL 07 and was supposed to PIR on 1 SEP 07. It didn't happen.

We were lucky and actually received a number of phone calls while he was there, but only one letter while he was actually in boot camp. He didn't know how to swim prior to going, (I know...."Why would anyone join the Navy if they don't know how to swim?!) so we considered swim lessons, but his recruiter told him not to worry about it, that they would train him there. And they actually did. So in addition to everything else they do in boot, he had daily swim lessons.

We had received our parking pass, airline tickets had been purchased and we were ready to go. And then about one week prior to PIR, I got a phone call from my son. He was being ASMO'd because he could NOT....just could NOT get that prone float done. He said he was at between 2 to 3 minutes, but just couldn't get past that. Okay, so while he's on the phone telling me all of this, and I of course had gone into gung ho Navy Mom mode....I hear his RDC (a female) in the background yelling, "And tell her if you DON'T do it, I will DROWN you!!!" Whatever! At that point SHE was the least of his worries! He was sick that he was going to disappoint his Dad and I! Ugh!!!!

To make a very long story short, he did not graduate with his Division. He was at Ship 6......for FIVE weeks! I kid you not. We received the worst letter ever from him - it was so dark and depressing, and he was so hard on himself....and of course, there was not one thing we could do for him.

What we DID do however, was to write him every single day, encouraging him, continuing to let him know that he CAN do this, how proud we were of him. Not only that, there were a lot of very, very fine, caring and loving Navy Moms who also wrote him.

The morning of 6 OCT 06 we got a phone call from him. Our alarm had just gone off and we were laying there talking when the phone rang. I again, launched into supportive Mom mode which I'm told went on for three minutes or so. When I stopped to take a breath, I heard him say, "I passed." I stopped....just stunned, and then said, "What???!!!" He repeated that he had passed the night before!!!!!!!

He said he just couldn't wrap his head around it, was feeling worthless, hated himself for letting us down (NOT), not graduating with our division, we'd spent money on tickets, blah, blah, blah....and he just was so focused on the negative that he couldn't see through to the positive. Finally, he went and talked to the social worker and just did an emotional dump and got all the stuff in his head out in the open. Additionally, one of his RDCs from bootcamp found out he was still there and came over and talked to Philip - Phil really, really liked and respected this man. Then Phil said he tested that morning, failed and seriously considered telling them that this was it - he just couldn't do it anymore. Because they were not going to give up on him unless he gave up on himself, which he almost did. Then he tested that afternoon, and this is the scenario (which knowing my son, I think is kind of funny):

Phil is floating.....he lifted his head out of the water at one point and the instructor said, "30 more seconds". Phil stuck his face back in the water. Then, Phil said he heard the instructor say, "OKay, you're done." Phil said he heared him but was just SURE there was no way he had done it. Then the instructer said again, "You're done." Phil lifted his head out of the water, looked at the instructer and said, "Are you SURE?" LOL.....

Then he ran battle stations, no problem - and opted out of PIR because he just wanted out of his 13 week stint at bootcamp!

Here's the thing: The military isn't for everyone, and it's okay!!! Don't ever let anyone guilt you or your son into thinking he could have or should have done better. But he has to believe in himself. I know that boot camp is such a surreal atmosphere, but it has to be. They're in training - it just has to be that way. Now, having said that....I don't understand why they're not running every day. Did he say by how much time he was off?

Please, please believe me that they will keep working with your son until he gives up on himself. I know he's got to be in such a rough place right now. Phil said being at Ship 6 was the worst - you had nothing to do but float and think - and having that time to think is not good.

Please encourage him to talk to someone - the social worker would be a good bet. And to see if he can't find out why they're not running every day? That just doesn't make sense to me.....but then, I'm not an RDC, so go figure!

As for the mail, it should have still been routed to him at the new ship - Phil's was. I still have a whole bag of mail that made it to him just addressed to the new ship with no new DIV number.

Anyway.....I know I've gone on and on.....I just really want you to know that you're not alone. We understand. It's hard when you can't help your boy - know that one real well. But we're here - and no matter what he decides, it's okay, Mom - really, it is. But please do encourage him to speak to someone, okay? And again, we're here for you!

Big Navy hugs,

[KYmom]

Welcome to the Cafe,

I will keep your son in my prayers that things improve.
I have no words of wisdom for your situation, since my son hasn't been to boot camp yet, except for the fact that I would probably take Peggy up on her offer.
I think letters from moms with son's that have been there and done that might help him feel better about himself. (that he's not the only one). To know that others have been there and had a rough time, but did eventually get through.

[02152007navy]

I also cannot relate...

but I would be very willing to write him as I have for many...I agree with everyone else..they need encouragement!! And if he knows we are ALL behind him maybe it might help....cant hurt!!

my email is:

bankingpig66@yahoo.com
send me his address and I will write also!!

[02152007navy]

Teri!!!

Card is done ready for tomorrow's mail!!! Let us know how he is doing..I will continue to write if need be!!

[JodieAK]

Okay, crud!! I didn't offer to write because for some odd reason I was thinking we couldn't....but then I realized it was a thread in another forum that we as a group weren't going to be allowed to and then the Chief changed his mind.

I am ALL OVER writing your son!! Did you get my response to your PM?? My email is in there - if not....it is: jodiek@gci.net

We'll send him Navy Mama love!! LOL!

((hugs))

[navymom101]

Thanks for all your support - really means alot. Will keep you posted on Bran's status. Thanks again!!!

JodieAK - received the PM - thanks.

[Mommadukes]

I would love to write to your son if you wouldn't mind....I know sometimes it can be hard on them and encouragement is the best.

My son said (when I finally spoke to him ~ once) that getting letters from the teachers from our school and my friends (some he didn't even know) made him smile.

Sometimes that's all they need.

My email is dcarmeci@esasd.net

Dawn

[Kristie]

Wow.....I am so sorry to hear about this but I am so thankful to JodieAK for her post.....it is comforting to know that someone else may be going thru what we are and just to know that someone has been there done that and survived is so helpful.....

navymom101.....keep your head up and post here when ever you need to .....and lean on us to help you get thru this....I will keep your son in my prayers and please keep us posted on his progress and how he is doing.....

[KYmom]

Okay, crud!! I didn't offer to write because for some odd reason I was thinking we couldn't....but then I realized it was a thread in another forum that we as a group weren't going to be allowed to and then the Chief changed his mind.

I am ALL OVER writing your son!! Did you get my response to your PM?? My email is in there - if not....it is: jodiek@gci.net

We'll send him Navy Mama love!! LOL!

((hugs))


ROFL- Jodie are you getting confused? ?

I know I have a hard time from one forum to the next, can't remember what was where. I'm getting senile in my old age. LOL or is it stress?

[Pengilum282]

Senility. Don't get it confused.

[JodieAK]

LOL....confused? Between three sites? Nah, never! Senility it surely must be!