New Respect

[SittinOnTheDockoftheBay]

Hello Navycafe,

I just wanted to write in and say that this forum has been very helpful in learning the things about the Navy that you can't necessarily learn from the official websites. I'm most interested in the personal stories of people who have been in the service for some time and how it affects their spouses and children. I have a newfound respect for it! After a recent visit to a Naval museum my imagination sort of took off and I've been doing research on the Navy and learning about the different jobs and roles that are available within the organization. I had no idea!

I have to say that I regret not considering this as a career option earlier. It sounds exciting and I would probably have a great deal of pride in serving. Career-wise, I'm dissapointed with where I am now. I have no interest in what I am doing; basically sitting in a cubicle trying to do my best and not get laid off. I'm 29 and I have a wonderful loving wife and two awesome children who are the world to me. I am still within the age limit to join and my wife supports me in whatever I do, but I feel that I've made my choices and it would be a little unfair of me to pull my family into a major life-change like serving in the Navy as a career (when that was never the expectation when we got married or had children). Also, I really don't know if I could stand being away from them for months or even years at a time.

I already have my college degree (BS) so technically I could go into Officer Candidate School in Newport, RI. Having read personal accounts of it online however, it sounds like sheer hell. Worse than Full Metal Jacket hell. It's run by the Marines and it sounds more like a screening process to chew up candidates rather than prepare them to be officers. (not saying that's wrong). Just not sure I want to give myself permanent knee or back injuries...

Anyway, thank you for the service of you or your family members! You have my admiration.

[sweetmtn]

First let me say welcome to the site! If you are truely unhappy with what you are doing right now, then you should probably at least talk to a recruiter and see what your options are. I dont think that OCS would be like Full Metal Jacket...if it was, no one would do it! BUT...you would need to be in shape physically and be able to run in a set time. You are not that old to do this, as my oldest son just changed careers as well, but he enisted in the Army at age 27. ;)

[Retired Navy Chief]

Welcome !!

Yes, it can be an eye opener when you really get a chance to look at what is available to you. What Naval Museum did you visit ?? The one at the Navy Yard in Washington DC is incredible !!


You do have a few things to consider with a decision of this magnitude ... your family being the main point.

I am not sure of the details of your life and your family .... but here are some things to ponder (bear in mind that I am a father of four, two of which were born during my first enlistment so they've been Navy Brats their entire lives).

Are you happy with what you are doing now ??

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now if you stay on this path ??

What would you do if you were given the opportunity to do any job in the world ??

What kind of life do you want for your children ??
Some want their kids to grow up in a very controlled atmosphere where they are around family in their hometown while others want their kids to experience the many cultures and travel the world.

What does your wife see for herself in the next 5 years and how does she see herself getting there ??

Do you (both) plan to continue your education ?? If so, how do you plan to pay for it ??

Give these things some thought for openers. There really is no right or wrong answers ... but if it appears that you want to go places with your life but this current lifestyle is blocking that from happening and doesn't look like things will improve much unless something is different ... the decision kind of makes itself.


You mentioned that you are doing your best to make sure you keep your job. This is a really scary time for us all. I never had to worry about losing my job for the entire 20 years that I was in the Navy. NEVER.
Now that I am retired .. the thought crosses my mind every day, even though I have what I consider a pretty stable job.
I couldn't imagine going through my entire working life with that kind of worry. I have the solace of a retirement check from Uncle Sam coming each month, so that eases things somewhat. Peace of mind that you AND your family will be taken care of while you are under a military service obligation is worth a million dollars ... in my opinion.

Medical bills and health insurance don't get any cheaper than it does in the military, my friend.



As for Officer Candidate School ... well, yes ... it is hell. The military in general, takes the training of their military leaders VERY seriously. Despite all the yelling, meticulous attention to detail and very intense course structure and discipline ... this is where LEADERS are developed.
Think about the type of people who come out of this training .... congressmen, presidents, astronauts, admirals, generals, CEO's. These aren't the guys that runs the local Jiffy Lube ... they are the ones who run our country !!

Is this the type of person that you would want to strive to become ??


As for the time away from home and the differences in expectations when you started your family ... that is something you will have to need to put the hardest thought into.

I'm sure that you probably didn't promise your family to do the minimum in life and to never do whatever you could to make the best life possible for them ... right ?? Hell no you didn't. Here is where you refer back to what I first asked you about where you see yourself 5 years from now, what do you want for your children and your wife. How does that compare now ??

I'm not saying that you will never do any better for yourself unless you join the Navy, because that is simply not true .... I am just pointing out that life has a way of growing stagnant unless you actively do something drastic to freshen it up. You don't want to come to the end of the line regretting not taking a chance to do something you really wanted to.

"If you want to make a really kick-ass omelete ... you're gonna have to crack a few eggs !! Then back it up with lots of quality ingredients !!"

Sorry to be long-winded.

Cheers,
PISTOL

[SittinOnTheDockoftheBay]

What Naval Museum did you visit ?? The one at the Navy Yard in Washington DC is incredible !!

USS North Carolina

I am not sure of the details of your life and your family .... but here are some things to ponder (bear in mind that I am a father of four, two of which were born during my first enlistment so they've been Navy Brats their entire lives).

Are you happy with what you are doing now ??

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now if you stay on this path ??

What would you do if you were given the opportunity to do any job in the world ??

What kind of life do you want for your children ??
Some want their kids to grow up in a very controlled atmosphere where they are around family in their hometown while others want their kids to experience the many cultures and travel the world.

What does your wife see for herself in the next 5 years and how does she see herself getting there ??

Do you (both) plan to continue your education ?? If so, how do you plan to pay for it ??

Give these things some thought for openers. There really is no right or wrong answers ... but if it appears that you want to go places with your life but this current lifestyle is blocking that from happening and doesn't look like things will improve much unless something is different ... the decision kind of makes itself.


Yep, those are questions I've been exploring for awhile. The one about what kind of environment we want our kids in, especially. The traveling sounds great in a way, but we also want our kids to know their grandparents, and spend time with them.


As for Officer Candidate School ... well, yes ... it is hell. The military in general, takes the training of their military leaders VERY seriously. Despite all the yelling, meticulous attention to detail and very intense course structure and discipline ... this is where LEADERS are developed.
Think about the type of people who come out of this training .... congressmen, presidents, astronauts, admirals, generals, CEO's. These aren't the guys that runs the local Jiffy Lube ... they are the ones who run our country !!Is this the type of person that you would want to strive to become ??
for the time away from home and the differences in expectations when you started your family ... that is something you will have to need to put the hardest thought into.

I'm sure that you probably didn't promise your family to do the minimum in life and to never do whatever you could to make the best life possible for them ... right ?? Hell no you didn't. Here is where you refer back to what I first asked you about where you see yourself 5 years from now, what do you want for your children and your wife. How does that compare now ??

Oh, you're good. You're very good. :smile:

I'm not saying that you will never do any better for yourself unless you join the Navy, because that is simply not true .... I am just pointing out that life has a way of growing stagnant unless you actively do something drastic to freshen it up. You don't want to come to the end of the line regretting not taking a chance to do something you really wanted to.

"If you want to make a really kick-ass omelete ... you're gonna have to crack a few eggs !! Then back it up with lots of quality ingredients !!"

Sorry to be long-winded.

Not at all! Thanks for your response.

[KYmom]

Glad to hear you have a supportive wife..... That will make life easier in whatever you choose to do.

A man is only as good as his wife. ----- So I would say Pistol has on hell of a wive.. B'Z's to Mrs Pistol...

[Retired Navy Chief]

The hardest job in the Navy is that of a Navy Spouse .... and I truly believe that. This person is both mom & dad while their sailor is away and we aren't talking a 9-5 deal either. It is manageable with the resources available and most people can adapt very quickly.

KYmom is right though, Mrs. Pistol is quite a woman .... I'm very, very lucky to have her. But you see, this is something that we grew up together with. When I joined the Navy, I was 19 and she was 17 ... all we knew is the Navy way. Deployments came and went and she just kicked into high gear.

We raised our children all over .... Long Beach Ca. , Hawaii, San Diego, Key West, Missouri .... and the neat thing was that our relatives would come see us for a change !! Just because you don't live in the same geographic area as the relatives, don't think for a minute that you will never see them. The key is to take orders to cool places !! hahaha

My kids didn't grow up with a small town upbringing like I did .... and there are times that I think they may have missed out on a few things that this kind of life can offer, but let me tell you this .... for my last couple years before my "retirement" we decided to settle the family in a small rural town in Missouri so that the kids could put down roots and call one place home. That was the worst mistake we ever made.

We never realized just how narrow-minded a community could be. Prejudice runs thick in small towns ...even the one that I grew up in and loved. Maybe not due to race or gender ... but because you weren't from there to begin with and you are different ... different viewpoints ... different sense of urgency and decorum. (We are taking steps to change that now ... wish the process would hurry up !!)

My kids consider the entire USA their hometown. They have seen soooo many things and been so many places. It's really interesting sitting in your childs elementary school classroom and listening to Show & Tell. While the civilian kids would bring their favorite ball glove or a frog they discovered that morning ......... the military brats show up with pictures and momentos of trips to Europe or Asia !! Blows the minds of the other kids and makes world geography class a little more believable.
There were kids in my oldest son's senior class that had never been out of the state of Missouri !!! WTH ???

My two older sons got to ride a US Navy ship round trip from San Diego to Portland Oregon to go to the Rose Festival one year. Spent a week living with me on the ship ... how cool is that ??
They started learning marine biology at an early age by playing with Mrs. Pistol and I in the tide pools of Hawaii ....they still talk about this close to 20 years later.
The whole family came out to spend a couple months with me in Germany and got to walk through real castles, take pictures of an olympic winter sports stadium, hike caves in the Swiss Alps, soak their feet in the Rhine River, visit 4 different countries (Germany, France, Austria & Sweden) in one single day trip. I couldn't have shown them this kind of life if I was stuck working in a factory or a cubicle farm back home.

Looking back ... I wouldn't have changed a thing. In fact, I would do it all again if given the chance.

cheers,
PISTOL

[SittinOnTheDockoftheBay]

Retired,

What did the kids do for schooling while you were in the service? Were they enrolled in the public school system for whatever location the family was living in or is there schooling specifically for military families on base?

We live in a city right now, but I grew up in a small town and yes, I agree in sometimes there can be a narrow-mindedness towards "outsiders".

[Retired Navy Chief]

Our kids did several things.
When there was a DOD school available on base ... they attended there.
If there wasn't one ... they attended a regular school in town.

When we hit a point where the public school system didn't meet our expectations ... they were home schooled.

I have a good friend stationed in Germany whose wife is a DOD elementary school teacher .... and they work with each other to choose assignments to various bases. Pretty cool deal.

We know another family that has enrolled their kids in private schools where they are stationed.

Lots of choices. Overseas, the majority will be DOD schools or if you choose to ... homeschool. Although in Germany, they gave the option of attending a german school .... full immersion into another culture and language. Excellent education ... if you get them in early enough to break the language barrier.

Cheers,
PISTOL

[SittinOnTheDockoftheBay]

First let me say welcome to the site! If you are truely unhappy with what you are doing right now, then you should probably at least talk to a recruiter and see what your options are. I dont think that OCS would be like Full Metal Jacket...if it was, no one would do it! BUT...you would need to be in shape physically and be able to run in a set time. You are not that old to do this, as my oldest son just changed careers as well, but he enisted in the Army at age 27. ;)

Thanks! Its amazing how quick your mid-twenties turn into 30... Physically I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I commute via bicycle 20 miles a day and have been doing so for 3 years. I'm 5'5 and 135 lbs. I'd still need to work up to the level of conditioning required by the service, though. I think I could handle that aspect.