so hard to say goodbye.....

[dallasnavywife]

Ive been a member of the site for a while now while my husband was a DEPper. Today was the day that he finally left for Great Lakes. Wow. I knew it was going to be tough, but this is one of the hardest things I have had to do probably in my entire life. We have been together for a little over 4 yrs...and got married last March. So next month will be our 1st wedding anniversary. We have a daughter who will actually turn 3 next month as well. This is a tough tough day. I wanted to say thanks for all the support you guys have given over the past couple of months. Im so glad to have stumbled across this support site. I know that this is just a "short" period of time compared to a deployment (boy will I be a real mess then!)...but last night was the first night that we have been apart since we moved in with each other 4 yrs ago!

So I am going to keep myself busy...cleaning and polishing...and trying to sell my (newly built) home....and waiting for that 1st 10 second phone call. (so if anyone knows of friends or family who are thinking about buying a home in the Dallas, TX area...please let me know!!!)

Thanks again.

Leeann.

[Retired Navy Chief]

Wish you were selling a home in Houston .... I happen to know of a certain retiree that is in the market !! :biggrin:


Hang in there .... the time apart is not going to be easy, but you can handle it. Take the advice of those on here that have been through it already and write to him each day (all positive topics please)... lots of pictures too.

Handle the things that you can handle and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need that too. Too many Navy spouses feel that they need to carry the entire weight themselves.

Cheers,
PISTOL

[carlylynn72]

Hey Leeann,
I can completely sympathize with you. My husband and I have been together for 3 years but just got married almost 2 months ago. He's been gone for an entire month come Wednesday. The best advice I can give you is to stay so busy that you don't have time to be sad. It's just as hard for them if not harder, so be sure to write a ton of positive, encouraging letters and when you do get to talk to him just say how proud you are and that he made the right decision. They never want to hear that you are lonely or depressed. I was fine the day my husband left and it was that 2 sec call when he made it to Great Lakes that kicked me in the gut. I had no clue when I would hear from him again.

I got the first letter 10 days after he left...let me tell you how much that will lift your spirits. Just to know that although it's rough for them, that they are okay and happy with their decision. Adam, my husband, is able to write every Sunday, so I've been getting a letter/or two (one that literally says I love you and that's about it) a week. I got my first phone call today and oh my god after 4 weeks, I was like who is this changed man on the other line??? It was incredible...so look foward to that and try not to get sad. People can tell you it goes by quickly, but it's not flying for me. I'm not saying that to bum you out, just want you to hear some realism...hopefully it will go by quicker for you! Fortunately you have a child to look after so I know you will be occupied. Not going to lie, it's hard...esp when you have never been apart. But you honestly will be stronger for it and it gives them a chance to realize how much they truly love and miss you and all the wonderful things you do for them.

So keep your head up. If you have any questions, please ask away. I'm new at this as well, but been going strong for a month. Good luck Leeann and as well to your husband. Keep us posted!!!

Carly Alvarez:)

[sweetmtn]

As has been advised, keep busy and the time will go by. It wont seem like it at first, but it will..just remember to write LOTS of letters, start now and number them so when you get his address, you can put them all in the mail together. You can do this..be strong and it will all work out for you :biggrin:

[NavyMomx2]

Hang in there - you will get through this and will be amazed in the positive change at the end of your journey. He will stand a little taller, and the pride of his accomplisments will shine in his eyes.

Remember that you'll be receiving a box in the next week or so with all he brought with him. Some handle this by not opening the darn thing, others open it and get busy washing the clothes and putting them away, while still others open it and fall apart. Just know that all his belongings coming home doesn't mean anything bad. It means he is in the safe arms of the Navy and that they are providing him everything he needs. Also, look in his pockets, you never know, I've heard of notes being tucked away - I was not one of the lucky ones this happened to but I wouldn't want you to miss out on a note if he had time to put one away for you.

Stay positive and know that someone is always here for you to answer your questions or just to listen to you vent.

Let us know his progress and when his PIR date is - there may be someone else that comes along with the same PIR.

[akd72085]

Hey Leeann..I am here if you need anything at all! I am a very good listener and have been through what you are, obviously the situation is a little different for you since you are married and have a baby but let me know if you need to talk. =o) This website has definitely helped me to meet some great ladies who I know I can talk to about anything and it feels like we've known each other for years! Nice to have people to talk to that are going through the same thing. Good luck! And it definitely helps to stay busy. Hope to talk to you soon!

[KYmom]

As everybody says... stay busy with the little one, family and friends. The more people you have to rely on the better.

[dallasnavywife]

Thanks everyone for your support! That means so much! It is getting better daily....:)


Well today is day 2! :) He called at about 11pm to say he had gotten to RTC safely. I was so relieved. I know he is safe, and that takes a LOT of anxiety off my shoulders. Before he left, we recorded him and our daughter playing, and him reading books to her, etc....so she gets to watch those at night. That will help her. Yesterday (Early) a recruiter from his office called...(luckily not his original recruiter...dont really care for that guy) ...and gave me his address!! I was suprised to get it so quickly. Less than 12 hours from the time I got a phone call. :) I mailed a letter this morning! :)

We had a pretty good day yesterday...a sign of good things to come! Great news from the realtor about listing our home, we should be able to sell for what we need without a problem! WHEW! So hopefully someone falls in love with my house and cant live without it :).

I come from a pretty big Navy family....Father, 2 retired Brother-in-laws, and a sister who is a retired LCDR. I am excited most of the time for what the future holds. I know what is instore for us....(no so excited about deployments, but we are strong and will be ok!!)

He is Division 146. I will keep everyone up to date on PIR.

[dallasnavywife]

This is what I got from the RTC website.

TG 20 (7) Divisions (142-147 & 920) Graduate Friday, 03 April 09.

:) At least there is an end in sight!

[carlylynn72]

That's awesome that you got the address so quickly! I had to wait to get Adam's first letter. I called the recruiter and asked him if that's where I was supposed to mail my letters. he told me to wait...fortunately I didnt listen bc I'm stubborn and it ended up being the right address. I emailed the RTC.PAO customer service first and they said it was the one to send it to! I had written earlier that time didn't go by quickly, but I think now that I'm in the second half, have heard from my husband over the phone and got the official PIR date in the mail...the days are going by much quicker. I feel like it's just an arm's length away and i'm getting so excited now. Exactly 4 weeks before he graduates. I'm just praying he continues with his positive attitude and the time flies. I'm glad you are able to keep busy and hope it continues for you. I'm so excited for you to get your first letter. I can still remember the feeling. I was like a little girl who couldn't stop squealing...I had butterflies for the longest time. Then I got selfish and was like, "When's the next one coming???":cheesy: Let me know when you hear from him!
Carly

[dallasnavywife]

Carly...
that is definately something I am ready for. Its weird not to have any kind of contact with my own husband! I miss him so much!!!

[ProudNavyGirlfriend]

I feel your pain!!! I think I cry every night.

I was talking to this one lady at my work. I noticed her son had a patriotic bear, with patriotic shorts on. I made a comment how I liked it very much and she explained that her husband has been in the army for years and that they are all very supportive. I told her that Matt went off to basic and the first thing she said was "That's the hardest part!"

And it so truly is! No contact with them except letters occasionally. At least when they get deployed you can talk to them. 8 weeks is so hard not being able to talk to the one you love so much!

And I used to live in Dallas, right around the Carrollton area. Used to live in Greenville too. Lol :)